1) There Will Be Blood - This one wasn't a factor for me. And this is actually one I had heard about. Someone described their first post-partum shower - the one in the hospital - as being a scene from some slasher pic with the amount of blood they found pooling around their ankles. Yum! I didn't have the same experience, but it could be because I shot blood across the room following the birth of my son. I might have been tapped out by the first shower. But as a word of warning, there is bleeding. Weeks of bleeding. And this holds true even if you have a C-Section, which makes sense when you think about it, but most don't.
2) #2 - I remember that before I left the hospital, one of the things on my "recovery checklist" was having a bowel movement. I had 3 days. If I hadn't had one at that time, I was supposed to consult my doctor. I didn't want to consult my doctor to tell her I wasn't...regular. But at the same time, I was terrified of going. Stitches, tearing, the irrational fear that my entire uterus would come out. And talking to other new moms I quickly discovered I wasn't the only one. The first bowel movement following birth is traumatic.
3) What goes up - This is another one that wasn't a huge issue for me, but you know how your uterus grows when you're pregnant? Over 9 months? Well it has to shrink back down to normal size. In a much shorter time. Know how it does that? Contractions. Yup - you still have contractions even after you have a baby! I don't know if it's because I breastfed, or because I'm part unicorn, but for me, the contractions were almost like little tickles. But for a coworker of mine, they were really painful.
4) Snissing and Cossing - I don't think it's a secret that pregnant ladies sometimes have trouble with their bladders when they sneeze. I mean, you have a small human resting right on your bladder. Well ladies, the problem does not go away when the tiny human is no longer taking up residence inside of you. I remember sitting on the couch a couple weeks after giving birth, eating rice. A kernel hit me in the back of the throat and I started coughing - and completely lost control of my bladder. A few weeks after that I tripped while walking outside, and once again needed a change of pants. Even now, 2+ years after giving birth these terrible coughing episodes with the bronchitis are wrecking havoc with my bladder control.