Monday, September 19, 2016

Mommy Mondays: What Is A Good Mom?

You guys, things are hard everywhere.  No one has it easy these days. 

Sometimes it's work.  Sometimes it's a relationship.  But if you have kids, often times the hard times are directly or indirectly caused by them.

This is not an indictment against children.  But for most of us, our lives are all consumed by them.  Whether we're worrying about them, or trying to manage other issues in addition to them, it's a constant presence.

And we are all far too hard on ourselves.    It's a cycle.

So I'm going to tell you something about being a mom.  It's not revolutionary.  It's not controversial.  It's simple, really.  But it's something that not enough of us know.  Or at least believe.

A good mom is not one who buys her children their every want.  Or takes frequent trips to Disneyland.  Or who reads their children educational material several times a day.  A good mom is not one who works.  Or one who stays home.  A good mom doesn't make homecooked meals.  Or cookies.  Or clothes.

I should rephrase that.  I don't mean to imply that if you do those things you're not a good mom, rather, that none of those things are required to constitute a good mom.

Too often we compare ourselves with the "mom next door" and that's not fair.  Life is hard enough as it is without having to live up to unrealistic expectations.   So if none of those things define a "good mom,"  what does?

My requirements are basic.  A good mom tries her best to provide her children with food, shelter, and clothes.    She makes them feel loved.    That's it.  Everything beyond that is gravy. 

So on those days where you can barely hold yourself together, let alone a household, remind yourself of that.  You don't need to be super mom.  You just need to be mom.


  1. I love this post. And you're so right. We are too hard on ourselves. Too quick to beat ourselves up for not being more like the mom next door. But what we really need to do is just focus on being the best we can be.

  2. I don't really think you can define what a GOOD mom is. Every woman has their own parenting style - but one thing that is a universal MUST is LOVE for their children.

  3. Amen to this! I have yet to meet a momma that gives herself enough credit. I don't know how you guys do it!

  4. I totally needed this post today. I had to work until almost 9 last night, which meant I only got to spend ONE HOUR with Remy all day. And so I basically went home and cried all night. Trying to shake it off today and loving this!