Monday, May 23, 2016

Mommy Mondays: Musings on Two

I've been thinking a lot about my boys lately.  How Thatbaby will never know what it's like to have our undivided attention, but he will also never know what its like to be friendless.

I always knew I wanted more than one child.  In fact, my "plan"  (hahahahaha) was 3 kids, a boy, then a girl, then another boy.

We joked about our reasons for having another kid
- someone to take care of us when Thatkid ended up in prison
- someone to keep Thatkid entertained
- we needed another tax deduction

But in reality, it was based on our my own personal experience.  I knew we wanted more than one child, because I grew up with a sibling.  It's what I know.  And as much as I didn't always get along with Thatbrother, I can't imagine life without him.  A constant ally, someone who gets the same jokes I do, and support when dealing with our parents.

We went out to dinner this weekend with friends who have a baby a month younger that Thatbaby.  And they're already thinking of number 2.  Except of course when they're out with our group, where the rest of us have 2.  Because the reality seems daunting.  And in a way it is.  On Mother's Day the woman at the table next to us told us she was pregnant and worried about 2, because all her friends warned her of the chaos.

And 2 can be chaos.  There are 4 hands for making messes, 2 bodies throwing themselves from heights, and sound is exponentially louder when 2 mouths are making it. 

But then there are moments like Sunday morning, when both boys were in our bed, crawling over us and giggling.  Playing with each other.  Or those moments when I walk into a room and find Thatkid reading to his little brother.  Those moments make it all worth it.  And we're lucky - the 3.5 year age difference means there are a lot of those moments.  No jealousy, independence, and genuine love for each other.

I don't know if I really felt like our family was missing anything when we only had one child, but I definitely feel complete with our two.


  1. I feel exactly the same way about our two! I know they probably won't always love each other as much as they do now, but watching them play together is so sweet. I love the 3.5 year age difference too. I was afraid it was too much, but now it seems perfect!

    1. I had the same fear. I wanted them closer, but it took us a lot longer the second time around. Now I'm glad for that!

  2. Glad to hear your comment about 3.5 yr age difference. I had a miscarriage last Aug, which would have been about 2.5 yrs apart. As the timing for school gets closer to getting more serious about trying, I was worried about the larger age gap. But it is nice as S becomes more independent, making getting two kids ready seem less daunting.

    1. Oh Rene, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's funny how much you think you have it down after the first one, but second pregnancies are a whole other ball game. Are you, E, and B all 2ish years apart?

  3. You are so lucky that they get along the two boys! I have heard of other families with a lot of jealousy and quarrels between brothers!

  4. Thanks. It was rough at the time, but I've come to peace with it. The three of us are each about 3 years apart, probably why I liked the idea of 3 years.

  5. Awww love this! I grew up with siblings, so we're definitely (already) thinking about baby #2 (or at least the logistics of it!) so this is good to hear!