Monday, May 30, 2016

Mommy Mondays: Mom Groups

When Thatkid was born, I was really excited about maternity leave, and staying home with him.  And that was fine for the first 3 months.  After that, I started getting a little stir crazy.  The only adult conversation I had was with Thatboy when he got home from work.  My best friends had moved away while I was pregnant, and I wouldn't have been a very good friend anyway.  Which is a hazard of having a new baby when your friends don't have kids.

But it's hard to make friends as an adult.  Where do you meet other like-minded adults if you're not in school? 

I tried taking Thatbaby to baby activities, but there's weren't a lot that worked with our schedule.  And I have a little social anxiety in those places anyway - so I didn't initiate any conversations with the other women there.

I decided to look for a local moms' group.  I went on Meet-Up and found a couple in the area.  I looked at the members to see if they had similar age kids.  I went to huge meetups and small meetups.  And I found my tribe.

I consider myself so lucky to have found these women.  It was one of the smaller, more localized groups.  And to tell you the truth, I wasn't originally going to meet with them.  They all had "older" children, born in early 2011, while my little guy was an end-of-the-yearer. 

Except one.  Superwoman had a son just a couple days younger than Thatkid.  AND she lived around the corner from me.  I ended up going to meet her, and connecting with the entire group.



It's been 4.5 years since we've met and I couldn't ask for a better, more perfect group.   They're always there for me and my kids.  They are fantastic with advice.  And they get being a mom.

I didn't really understand the importance of having mom friends before I was a mom.  I was the first in my group to get married and that didn't change the relationships with any of my friends.  But kids are different.  And being friends with other moms means they understand when you cancel last minute because your kid was up all night, or sick, or throwing a massive temper tantrum.  Being friends with other moms means they know exactly how to discipline your kids and keep them from trouble.  Or that you always have someone to take your kid to the bathroom (Thanks L&O!).  They just get it.

So one of my big pieces of advice to new moms is to find a moms group.  But not just anyone, a good one.  Like anything else in life, you can't find insta-friends with all people.  So if one isn't a good fit, try another one.  Because that saying "it takes a village"?  It's not so far off.  So find your village.

3 comments:

  1. I find it so, so hard to make friends as an adult -- so glad you found this group!

    ReplyDelete
  2. So, very important to have a good support group when you are mom. You will make some of your best friends as your children start to join school activities and/or sports. You will find a solid tribe there too. My youngest son just graduated high school, and the friends we have made through the school years will be friends for life.

    Velva

    ReplyDelete
  3. Being a parent changes completely your perspective! I was quite intolerant as a youngster with screaming kids at the beach! Now I completely understand! It is great that you have found not only one but many friends!

    ReplyDelete