When Thatkid was born, I was really excited about maternity leave, and staying home with him. And that was fine for the first 3 months. After that, I started getting a little stir crazy. The only adult conversation I had was with Thatboy when he got home from work. My best friends had moved away while I was pregnant, and I wouldn't have been a very good friend anyway. Which is a hazard of having a new baby when your friends don't have kids.
But it's hard to make friends as an adult. Where do you meet other like-minded adults if you're not in school?
I tried taking Thatbaby to baby activities, but there's weren't a lot that worked with our schedule. And I have a little social anxiety in those places anyway - so I didn't initiate any conversations with the other women there.
I decided to look for a local moms' group. I went on Meet-Up and found a couple in the area. I looked at the members to see if they had similar age kids. I went to huge meetups and small meetups. And I found my tribe.
Except one. Superwoman had a son just a couple days younger than Thatkid. AND she lived around the corner from me. I ended up going to meet her, and connecting with the entire group.
It's been 4.5 years since we've met and I couldn't ask for a better, more perfect group. They're always there for me and my kids. They are fantastic with advice. And they get being a mom.
So one of my big pieces of advice to new moms is to find a moms group. But not just anyone, a good one. Like anything else in life, you can't find insta-friends with all people. So if one isn't a good fit, try another one. Because that saying "it takes a village"? It's not so far off. So find your village.