What a weird turn these entries have taken. I know eventually I'll get back to cooking and showcasing meals from my kitchen, but I also know it won't be anytime soon. I definitely keep having that feeling that things aren't ever going to be the same, and frankly I'm not sure when things will ever be "normal" - my new schedule is so far from my normal schedule and shows no signs of ever returning that perhaps I just need a new definition of what normal is. I can't even remember what it was like to spend a weekend at home, not consumed with a million things to do for Thatmom.
In the past two weeks I've done so much better with socialization though. I even went out to lunch with H! I'm so lucky that we love the same restaurants - she suggested my favorite and I decided to take her up on it. Then I had a very short open opportunity where I was able to grab some coffee with K1 who luckily was able to deal with the incredibly short notice I'm reduced to these days. She informed me that I'm far too hard on myself and the things I'm feeling right now. She gave me permission to be passive aggressive and a mega bitch, but I'm still reluctant to follow through.
With every step forward though there is always a step back. Last weekend was not so great for my lower back and I spent most of Sunday crying and immobile as I grew faint and nauseous whenever I would stand. Muscular in nature there is very little I can do other than a consistent regiment of ibuprofen. I come home from work and the last thing I want to do is....pretty much anything. So I haven't been cooking, returning emails or phone calls, cleaning, any of the normal things people do. And this is SO not the week for ailment! We've been carpooling to work so that we can leave straight after for far reaching destinations. Thatboy has taken over driving which is a plus, but attending seders in LA and Orange County in the evening means we're spending a lot of time in the car, and not so much time sleeping. And since he's gone to his parents this weekend I got to make the drive up to OC all by myself. Well, that's not quite true. Thatdog is one heck of a navigator! I'm very much looking forward to his return this evening so he can go back to the heavy lifting and dog walking.
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I'm not sure if "normal" really exists. Life is so full of the unexpected.
ReplyDeleteAnd, yet, even with so many things swirling about you, you still made the time to wish me a happy birthday!
I'd say that's pretty impressive. :)
Many hugs to you, your mom, thatboy, and Ringo.
Glad you were able to take some time to yourself. Slowly, but surely things will get better, hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHey - been thinking about you. Good to hear you're spending some time with friends.
ReplyDeleteI'd recommend getting a massage. I've had muscle tension problems in my back before. About 4-5 massages usually fixes it right up(physio didn't help much).
Hey, I've missed you. Glad to hear an update from you, I hope things continue to get better. Happy Passover!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that everythung is not right with the world yet, it will hopefully get better soon:D
ReplyDeleteWe are all still here, waiting patiently. You deserve as much time as you need.
ReplyDeleteWould you like us to start a letter writing campaign to NPH requesting a hug for Thatgirl?
Did you smile at the thought? Giggle a tiny bit? That's all I was going for.
Your 'new normal' will take some getting used to. You have plenty of people who want to support you in whatever ways you need.
[hugs] take care!
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs and hope things get better soon!
ReplyDeleteditto the monkey. even with all that you're dealing with, you still made time for me, too. and i so appreciate that!
ReplyDeleteas always, much love from me.
Hang in there. Friends can be such saviors so make sure you lean on them. Things will keep getting better. Do yourself a favor and get a massage. Maybe take your mom too? They are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to hear from you! I hope your back is feeling better, too. As I'm sure others have told you, it will all start to flow eventually. Be patient and take care of yourself, too!
ReplyDeleteYou'll have a new normal. Eventually. I hope your back feels better soon. And your heart.
ReplyDeleteNot sure what to say other than hang in there, which is I suspect what i wrote the last time, but I still mean it. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're going through a rough time - give yourself permission to grieve and bitch - it's healthy. Passive aggression will get you ulcers so let it all hang out. I'm still running with my mom 3X/week for medicine, dr's appointments, groceries or a Brita filter and 8 p.m. cuz it can't wait til tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear how hard life has been and while I'd like to offer some sort of sage advice or comfort, I know not what would be right for you. All I do know is life keeps marching on and somehow one day, you find yourself laughing over something silly in spite of it all even if you don't want to.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you today.
ReplyDeleteLL
:( I hope the back is doing better. Back issues are never fun, but they're especially tedious when you have a million other things to worry about.
ReplyDelete