If you liked the last one, you'll like this half as much

Back in 2008 is when I started my "race a month" craze. As the month of October approached, I hadn't found a race that interested me yet - until a 5K caught my eye. It was a 5k through the San Diego Zoo! Only one of my favorite places in the country.

When the starting gun went off, so I did I. Only I noticed I was the only one...well, except for a group of 2 or 3 small boys under the age of 10. Turns out I missed the fine print on this one. The 5k was a walk and not a run. The volunteers weren't too sure what was going on and kept sending me on loops around the park, so that, by the time I finished, I had actually run 7k....and was still the first person to complete the course (well, except for those boys). As I ran by the animals in an empty park I knew I'd want to come back and do it again - but slower, so I could take advantage of it.

So last weekend, Thatmom, Thatbrother, and UDubb headed down to San Diego to walk the 5k with Thatboy and I.

Throughout the course there are various performers. Thatmom was NOT impressed with these little Disney-star wannabes.

And these stilt walkers always scare the crap out of me.

One of my favorite parts of the 5k is that some of the animals come out to play. Last year I slowed my roll when I approached this guy. I asked his handler if it was okay to run by him, because I know Thatdog would take chase. She assured me I'd be fine. This year we stopped and got a nice up close look at this grey wolf.



Each year the 5k is a fundraiser for some resident of the zoo. This year, the walk was to raise money for the polar bear. As if he knew, he put on quite a show for all of us walkers. When we approached his tank he was looking for something stuck under water in the rocks.

He was trying his hardest to get it out.

Finally he got it out! What was worth all this trouble? A big blue ball!

He pulled it out and got cheers from the crowd. And then? Well he put it right back where he got it - wedged between the rocks. We couldn't tell if he was hiding it, or preparing for his next show.



The animals are very active in the morning, and because the zoo isn't open to the public, you get front row seats to all the exhibits.

I have a thing for animals in pools of water.

I love the new Elephant Odyssey - the result of last year's walk. Mr. and Mrs. Lion were in rare form that morning, mugging for the crowds.

These guys raced with me last year in their old, smaller enclosure. This year they just kind of stared at the crazy humans.

This jaguar was brought from her enclosure out to a more open area so we could get nice and close. She moves crazy fast. Most of my pictures of her from previous visits are just a blur.

And of course, the stars of the Elephant Odyssey.

These tapirs had noses that were going crazy! Like elephant trunks they seemed to have a mind of their own. The guy in the back had a message for all us walkers.

Normally, I'm the object of Thatboy's craziness. It was nice to be the observer for once. You can see Thatmom appreciates it as much as I do.

Thatbrother and UDubb also took some time for picture ops.

Another animal ambassador was this hawk. Not as exciting as the wolf.

I love the peacocks roaming the park. This guy did not have time to stop. Thatbrother said he appeared to be on his way somewhere important. We figured he must be on the board of directors for the zoo.

This is the New Guinea Singing Dog. We decided he looked like Thatdog and attempted to get him to sing by singing him "In the Jungle." He stared at us as though we were nuts, but didn't sing back. We thought maybe he was called a singing dog because people sing to him. Thus began Thatboy and my attempt to sing to every animal in the park.

It was WAY too early for the rhinos. I know how they feel.

I never really loved giraffes before moving to San Diego, but I love our giraffes at the zoo and Wild Animal Park. They have SUCH personality.

We finished the walk and headed out to the booths to pick up our goodies. This walk has some of the best! Italian ices, cold beverages, chips - AND a backpack full of fun stuff including $15 off coupons to 20 different restaurants. Which I'm really excited about because there are quite a few restaurants that I want to try.

I casually mentioned to Thatboy that I thought the cheetah was about to be brought to the stage and he disappeared. Dashed across the lawn to get a good view.

There were also these crazy acrobatic aerialists.

Thatboy couldn't wait to try himself. He spun around on this thing a couple times, which was pretty impressive.

Then, because we had free admission to return, we headed back into the zoo to hit up any animals that weren't on the course.

I love this little wombat. I wanted to name him football and smuggle him home with me.

I've been to the zoo about a million times. And I've never seen these koalas do anything but sleep.

I'm so sad there's no giant kangaroos at the zoo, but this little tree kangaroo is pretty cute.

And we all know about my favorite zoo residents:

Because it was early, our little boy panda was up and "active." Well, as active as Pandas get.

His little sister wasn't quite ready to greet the day yet. How does she not fall?



Almost as cool as the Carmel otters - hi buddy!

This orangutan looked so pensive. Thatboy and I started singing to him "Put on a happy face." He looked over at us, smiled, and then back across the ravine.

Our last stop was the petting zoo. So we could touch SOMETHING. Thatboy made a new friend.

The zoo 5k is one of my favorite San Diego events. And even if it's not really a "run" it's definitely my favorite race of the year.

The story of the 10k

Remember that 10k I was supposed to run in July? And then remember how I sprained my ankle and couldn't run? Well the next 10k in San Diego was last month. And since I missed the last one, I did everything in my power to stay healthy for this one. Like most of my favorite races, this one took place in Balboa Park. Not nearly as cool as running over a dam, but still a good venue.

This 10k was part of the 20th annual AIDS walk - a 5k that had a lot more participants than my 10k run. There were a ton of events prior to the actual event also, including choir performances and the entire soundtrack of rent.

Thatboy and Thatdog joined me as usual to cheer me on.



The 10k started before the 5k to give us runners a chance before those walkers got in our way. Remembering my pace issues with the 8k, I put myself in the middle of the pack so I wouldn't be tempted to go too fast, too soon. And I purposely filled my playlist with slow songs to keep my pace slower than the adrenaline push.



Things were actually going really well for the first 4k. I was maintaining a good pace, enjoying my music, and generally having a fabulous time. Then, all of a sudden, out of no where, my back started spasming. At 4k! That's less than 3 miles! I run 3 miles everyday! So why was my back spasming now????? Two things kept me pushing through. The first was the fact I had already wussed out on one 10k this year because of a sprained ankle. The second was because I really didn't want to have to go over to the teenage volunteers and ask to borrow their phone so I could call my husband to come pick me up.




This picture was around mile 4.5ish.....I was such a trooper that when I saw Thatboy and Thatdog standing on the side here I decided not to tell Thatboy about my back, so he wouldn't make me stop running.



I finished the race even with the back spasms that continued to get worse and worse as the day went on. By the time we got to Thatmom's house that night to celebrate the Jewish Holiday I couldn't even move. Even with the muscle relaxants in my system. Maybe those last 6k weren't the smartest idea? According to Dr. Boyfriend I slipped a disk (hmmm the verbage there seems wrong....) back in April and for some reason the 10k re-slipped it. Bah! Dr. Boyfriend is confident this is just a minor injury and I'll be back running in no time, but since I won't be running any more races until I'm all healed and better, it kind of makes me feel better about finishing the 10k.

10k playlist:

• Breathe (2AM)- Anna Nalick (I thought this would help my pace start slow...it did. Plus "breathe" is a good message for any runner.)
• Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright (Still slow - see, trying to learn from my past)
  
• Winter Song - Sara Bareillis (I totally fell in love with this song during auditions for Season 5 SYTYCD)
• Allison - Elvis Costello
  
• Sometimes - Bowling for Soup (This is where the tempo starts to pick up)
  
• Love Me Dead - Ludo (As soon as Labor Day is over I start getting ready for Halloween. This is on my Halloween soundtrack. Dark but fun.
  
• Sly Girl - The Spies
  
• I'm Gay - Bowling for Soup (This song has pretty important meaning to me. Bowling for Soup for Soup was a band I "discovered" and passed along to Thatdad who loved them just as much as I did. When he first died, I stopped running for a while. On my first run back, this song came on "Don't hate us cause we're happy/don't hate us cause we're beautiful/don't hate us cause we make you smile/or if we go the extra mile/to make someone feel better on a really shitty day." It was almost permission to start feeling better, and it's the first time I can remember my spirits feeling lifted after Thatdad's death. Of course, this is also where my back started spasming during the 10k.)
  
• You're Going to Go Far Kid - Offspring (The timing on this song was perfect "See them running for their lives." Plus there's something I really enjoy about profanity in my playlist.
  
• Falling Down - Atreyu (I thought it would be fun to have a "falling" section on the playlist. Given the sprained ankle and slipped disk, maybe this wasn't the smartest of my ideas)
• Ready to Fall- Rise Against
  
• Potential Breakup Song -Aly and AJ (Yup a super duper girly teeny bopper song. High energry and loads of it)
  
• Two Seater - Bowling for Soup (The beginning of my terrible breakup section. The song is about how he rips the back seat out of her car...and several other acts of vandalism.)
  
• Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood (I love this song back to back with Two Seater. Seriously I wouldn't date either of these people if you value your car.)
  
• Song for the Dumped - Ben Folds Five (This one brings me right back to college)
  
• Luckiest Loser - Bowling for Soup (The last of the bad breakup songs. )
  
• Harder and Harder to Breathe- Maroon 5 (Kind of fitting to end the playlist with another song about breathing. But by the end of the race I thought "harder and harder to breathe" would be apt.)

"Hey - I wanna be with you for your money"

There are times when Thatboy can be incredibly sweet. Days where he bends down (there is almost a foot difference) and grabs my face and kisses me, and tells me how much he appreciates everything I do. There are other times when somehow, phrases like the above manage to escape his lips.

Unfortunately for both of us, Thatboy will never be with me for my money. And being with him ruined the brillant plan my friend Burrito and I came up with. Back in college, Burrito and I decided we would both marry really really old sickly millionaires. When they both died (and of course they would shortly after our marriages since they were old and sickly) Burrito and I would marry and pool our fortunes. Because Burrito and I are of opposite sexual persuasions, this plan would leave us free to date and spend time with whoever we wanted and still have oodles and oodles of money.

Luckily for Thatboy and I, I am nothing if not amazingly resourceful at finding every free opportunity to take advantage of. For instance, this week Thatboy and I are seeing two free theatrical performances thanks to "Free Theater Night." And a couple of weeks ago, we took advantage of Museum Day 2009 - where the Smithsonian sponsored a day of free museums.

You may recall a few weeks ago Thatboy and I had a brilliant idea to visit the Birch Aquarium, but ended up at the La Jolla Sea Caves instead. This time we decided to actually head to the aquarium.

Thatdad always joked that Thatboy was like a raven - attracted by bright shiny things. Here is proof that Thatdad was always right. But what were those shiny things that seemed to mesmerize Thatboy?



Welcome to the Hall of Fishes.





We saw more starfish than I have ever seen in my entire life, all put together. All different colors of the rainbow - fat starfish, skinny starfish, and in the tidepool area we even got to touch them. I had to keep reminding Thatboy of the one finger rule.



There were some really gorgeous fishes there, I especially loved the lion fish - mostly because I think they're gorgeous, but if I saw one snorkeling I'd probably pee myself. They're much safer behind glass.



Thatboy's favorite exhibit was where we got to tape a newscast and then watch ourselves. "Do it with me!" he asked. I didn't realize he had alternative plans. Once the camera started rolling Thatboy proceeded to fake his own death. Leaving us with a video of me staring horrified into the camera, trying to figure out what was wrong with the man I married.



I loved this guy. I have NO idea what kind of animal it is - but HOW COOL DOES HE LOOK? I asked Thatboy if I could have one to take home. After he said no, the small boy beside us asked if he could take a different fish home. Thatboy told him no too. He's an equal opportunity hater.



I don't know if it's a permanent exhibit, but there's a whole bunch of jellyfish (jellyfishes?). All different kinds. I thought these guys were the most gorgeous, but the upside down ones were pretty interesting, as were the ones that looked like egg whites. I still can't see jellyfish though without thinking of Seven Pounds.



Thatboy loved the eels. They were GIGANTIC. Maybe that's why he liked them so much (don't read too much into that). I pretended we were characters in the Little Mermaid when I saw these guys. I'd tell you Thatboy pretended also because it's his favorite Disney movie, but that would be REALLY embarrassing for him. So let's just not say anything about whether he did or did not participate.



And this brings us to the most important part of the day. The first sighting of the Garibaldi. This is also a good time to point out that Birch Aquarium prides itself on it's presentation of local marine life. Most of the fish in the aquarium are those found not just in the regional "Southern California" area, but those in actual La Jolla waters. So when I saw this little orangey guy I told Thatboy - "this MUST be the fish we saw from the tops of the cliffs at La Jolla Cove."



Do you see how much the Garibaldi sticks out? This is him swimming around in the giant kelp forest. 70,000 gallons and you can see his bright orange color.



See what I mean?





And just in case you're not convinced, here's a view looking down into the tidepools at the aquarium. I was so excited about finding out what this mystery fish was, I tried to work "Garibaldi" into every conversation. I was a ton of fun that day. We loved going to the Birch Aquarium, but even moreso because it was free. The aquarium is a fun experience, but considering we have both the zoo and the SeaWorld in the immediate vicinity, it's hard to get worked up about the exhibits here since they're all on a much smaller scale. It makes me feel a little spoiled to have all this in our backyard so that I can make such comments about what would be a mouth dropping aquarium anywhere else in the country. So maybe I'm kinda rich after all.

Where I'm At

Yesterday was Thatdad's birthday - almost 8 months since his death. I thought it would be a good time to reflect on my current state of being.

It's so cliche to say that when someone dies, a part of them stays with you - but it's true. I feel as though I carry an extra burden, something which sets me apart from everyone else. It's a selfish and self-centered feeling I bring to every conversation, every relationship - where I feel like no one has it as bad as they think they do, no one is as bad as I. Every time I'm with someone there's always a part of me which screams "poor me!" Because of this I still have a hard time being truly sympathetic to anyone else. While the rest of my generation bemoans the loss of Michael Jackson, John Hughes, and Patrick Swayze, I feel completely emotionless. "Really? Who cares? These aren't actual people in your life." I likewise just can't involve myself in relationships the way I used to. I always tend to be the person in a relationship who makes all the effort - does the calling, emailing, planning. And now, I just can't bring myself to do all the work. I'm incredibly fortunate to have some truly fabulous people in my life who make the effort to do the reaching out, and those tend to be the people I spend the most time with.

Thatdad is part of every thought I have, and because I am so mind-body connected, he has also become a very physical part of me. Shortly after Thatdad died, back when I had just moved back home from Thatmom's house, I awoke one morning with a sore back. As the day went on, my back got stiffer and sorer, until I wasn't able to stand without getting nauseuous and almost passing out. It's obviously gotten better since then, but a week and a half ago, while I was running at 10k (more on that on a later post) it started spasming. It's been off and on bad ever since. Usually it feels okay in the morning until I get into the car on the way to work. It's all downhill from there. Thatmom is pretty convinced this is my new "stress point" and related to Thatdad's death, but now it's just a constant, painful reminder. Don't worry - I'm going to see Dr. Boyfriend tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure he's going to fix me up all better, just like he always does.

Thatfamily is all coping in different ways. Whenever we get together, as we did last night, we try to picture Thatdad there with us. We talk about him, and what he'd be doing if he was there with us. Last night we discussed what he would think of the restaurant we ate at (and decided it was too dark for him.) Thatboy suggested we get a pocket on his headstone so that we can bring him souveniers from our trips. Thatdad loved to collect crap.

On a brighter note - my crying jags have become far less frequent. I still cry on "occasions" when I miss having him with us, miss being the family we were. And Thatmom started blogging after Thatdad died - each one of her entries brings me to tears over her loss, and how she struggles to define life on her own. I'm now able to watch movies and television without collapsing into hysterics at the sight of a hospital. I was always a little emotional with movies and television (Thatboy became my hero when we first dated when he almost got into a fight with a guy who got really upset with my wailing sobs during Gladiator) but after Thatdad's death, it was taken to the extreme. I now only cry when appropriate - like episodes of Grey's Anatomy.

Has a lot changed in the past 8 months? I guess it depends. In a way my grieving is less intense, it's become almost a constant part of my life, like an extra appendage I've learned to live with. On the other hand, it's still there, as present as ever.

You can can-can too

I have an uncanny ability for biting off more than I can chew. Since July I've been planning on making the next recipe from AVP - which calls for a brand new process for me. Canning. Even before reading the book, canning has been on my list of "things to do this year."

Canning is practically in my blood. I grew up in rural rural rural Pennsylvania. A place where literally moments before dinner my parents would send us out to the backyard to gather ingredients for the evening's salad - lettuce, tomatoes, peppers, beans.... Back then, Thatdad was a canner. Actually, his canning probably went back much further, but my memory doesn't.

I had planned to do my canning at Thatmom's house, because Thatdad had a whole canning setup. Of course, when it came to actually finding the kettle, Thatmom and I were SOL. We checked everywhere we could think of. Unfortunately, Thatparents had moved just months before Thatdad's death, and many of their possessions remained boxed up in the garage. Following Thatdad's death, Thatbrother "organized" the boxes, which means now we can't get at most of them, and have no idea what they contain.

Undaunted as ever, I decided to proceed sans canning equipment. I figured I'd improvise. This was probably my first mistake.

The recipe was supposed to make 6-7 quarts of tomato sauce. Well friends, the recipe LIED. 30 lbs sure seemed like a lot of tomatoes, but what do I know? I'm a beginning canner. Thatboy watched me pureeing the tomatoes and said "You're crazy. Do you own a restaurant I don't know about?" Nothing like a little spousal support. As I pureed, I noticed the beginning of problem number 1. The biggest pot Thatmom had was quickly filling up. I called for reinforcements and Thatboy found me a turkey roaster. Even that got dangerously full.

However after several hours of simmering, it reduced to a much less scary amount - although still far more than 6-7 quarts.

As the sauce finished, I ran into problem number 2. I had grossly underestimated the amount of time the dishwasher would take to sterilize the equipment. So I sat for another hour waiting for it to finish while I started getting concerned about problem number 3. Even without the canning kettle, both Thatmom and I were pretty sure there was a gigantic pot which I could use for the water boiling portion of canning. Like the kettle, giant pot was no where to be found. The only pot I could find tall enough for the quart jars would only hold 2 jars at a time.

Remember how I said there was much more than 6-7 quarts? Well there was over 10 quarts of sauce. Which meant 5 rounds in the water bath. Which would take forever. And it did! From pureeing to finish, it took about 12 hours- and of course, that doesn't include the cooling off period. Maybe Thatboy was right about me being a little crazy.

Family Secret Tomato Sauce (recipe can be found at animalvegetablemiracle.com)