First Steps toward Manhood

This is going to be a controversial post, so I promise there will be cake in the end. In fact, that was one of my incentives to get Thatbaby into the world. I promised him that if he came out, there would in fact be cake. Cake is an excellent motivator for just about anyone.

We knew from the very beginning that if Thatbaby was a boy, he was going to be circumcised. Many years ago, back when we were dating, I brought up the fact that it was very important to me to raise my children Jewish. It was a dealbreaker for me in a relationship. Thatboy, having his own issues with his Catholic upbringing, readily agreed. So it was a given that we begin Thatbaby's introduction to his heritage with the traditional brit milah.

On Sunday, 8 days after his birth, friends and family from across the country joined us in celebrating this new life. The bris has three main parts - the baby naming, the circumcision, and like any good Jewish ceremony - the food.

The Rabbi who married Thatboy and I performed the naming ceremony. He spoke of Thatdad, who shares a birth week with Thatbaby and a little bit more. We had decided to use Thatdad's Hebrew name as the Thatbaby's Hebrew name. Talking about Thatdad affected me as I expected it would - every moment of joy brings with it a feeling of loss. Of course that meant that the readings I performed were done through tears.

After the naming ceremony, the circumcision was performed by a Mohel. Our Rabbi recommended a couple in the area. We decided not to take chances with our little boy and went with the one who is also the Associate Director of Pediatric Urology at a prominent local hospital. (As an aside- we went in for a check up today and our pediatrician seems to think he did a good job. Thatboy is obviously concerned about loss of length, but I think that's probably a typical dad concern.)

After the circumcision 3 generations surrounded Thatbaby for a blessing. Which has always been my favorite part of Friday night services. I honestly can't wait to be able to participate in that with Thatbaby.

And then there was eating. Loads of eating. You would think for a breakfast occasion there wouldn't be massive amounts of food, but then again, if you thought that, you probably have never met my family.

I already had made the challah, not expecting to use it quite so soon. But I wanted to do more. Especially since I had been banned from the kitchen since the birth of Thatbaby. And it was driving me crazy for several reasons.

First, because TFIL did most of the cooking. This was a multifold problem. I've already complained about his use of every pot/pan/plate/dish in the house in making meals - exacerbated by the fact that he has a "I cook, you clean" policy. Which means my kitchen was a disaster area every night. Add to that the fact he takes 3 hours to cook green beans and you can imagine how long they were here every night. And if that wasn't enough, he spent whatever time he wasn't cooking complaining about all the work he was having to do by cooking.

TMIL wasn't much better as she spent her time complaining about how bored they were during the day when they weren't over at our place making a mess. She was on cleaning duty and again I wasn't allowed to help. BUT she also refused to respect any of our wishes about where things belonged. This ranged from "Please don't put our good fragile wine glasses in the dishwasher" all the way to "Ummm I can't find where the plates are since they don't seem to be in the plate cupboard." Which meant every night after they left we had to unload the dishwasher and wash by hand everything we asked her not to put in, and then go searching through all our drawers and cupboards to find things and put them back where they belonged.

I decided to put my foot down toward the end of their stay and take back my kitchen. It started slowly - picking up first just an entree (the night of the three hour green beans), but by their last night they showed up just in time to have dinner placed on plates for them, with no cleanup to be done (because that's how it works in Thathouse.)

I also used some of my precious - noninlaw time to bake a cake for the bris. Since it was a morning affair I didn't want a layer cake, dripping with frosting. Nothing overly sweet. I figured a coffee-cake type cake would be the best way to go. Filled with dried fruit and nuts it's almost like a quick bread. Except for the use of cake flour which makes it light and fluffy.

The soaking of the raisins is a trick I picked up from my great grandmother who used to leave that step out whenever she gave anyone a recipe involving raisins. It was her own trick so that people would say "I made Zelda's raisin bread and it just didn't taste as good as when Zelda made it." She soaked her raisins in water, I used kirsch. Because I had it leftover from fondue night and chocolate and cherry combine together oh so well. I made this in a round, but it could easily be baked in loaf pans for the upcoming holidays.

Chocolate Fruit and Nut Cake
1/3 cup golden raisins
2 Tbsp kirsch
2 oz unsweetened chocolate
1 stick butter
1 1/4 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup milk
2 cups cake flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1/3 cup dried cherries
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

1. Soak raisins in kirsch overnight.
2. Preheat oven to 350. Spray two round cake pans with baking spray. Melt the chocolate in a double boiler and let cool.
3. Cream the butter in an electric mixer and then slowly add in the sugar. Beat until light and fluffy.
4. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing completely before each addition.
5. Add in the chocolate, vanilla, and beat until thoroughly combined.
6. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Alternate adding in these dry ingredients with the milk, starting and ending with the dry ingredients.
7. Stir in the raisins, along with the kirsch they've been soaking in, the cherries, and the walnuts.
8. Spread the batter into the pans and bake for 35 minutes. Cool in pans before turning out onto a cooling rack.

TMD's Guide on how to host a houseguest

So Thatboy and I went on a lunch date today and he informed me that he believes he has caught whatever bug I am trying to get over. Which means I am now sick, and taking care of another sicky. Between you and I, I think his back is beginning to feel better and he's afraid he might actually have to do work around the house.

When she heard how busy I am, TMD offered to do a guest blog for me. And I'm taking her up on it.

Hi Friends! (HA Cate) Thatgirl was telling me about her latest trip to visit her inlaws and it made me realize that many people don't know the appropriate behaviors when hosting house guests. Since I am an excellent hostess I thought I would help out and cover some tips you might want to use next time you have people come to stay with you.

Do: Grab a toy as soon as they enter the home. It helps to control the excitement. If that's still not enough, try doing a lap around the living room. Once they bend down to say hi, you can give them as many kisses as you like.
Don't: Jump all over your houseguests. It scares some of them and it will probably hurt your knees more than you realize.

Do: Think of your houseguests' needs. Have they been traveling for a while? Maybe they would like something to drink or eat. And remember to think about your guests the entire time they are there. Don't be selfish! These people are your guests and as such, it is your duty to make sure they're taken care of.
Don't: If there are only two bathrooms in the house, and you and your spouse usually don't share bathrooms, don't continue this habit while your guests are staying with you. Especially if you each spend an hour in the bathroom in the morning while you're guests are left crossing their legs and wondering if they're better off going outside.

Do: Make your guests feel comfortable by sharing your favorite toys with them.
Don't: Leave your favorite toys out if they're the kind of toys that one of your guests like to tear apart. (I'm looking at you Thatdog. I like my stuffies stuffed.)

Do: Wear pajamas. Even if you don't normally. Maybe have a pair especially for when guests come over.
Don't: Go running around the halls naked at night when the bathroom is directly between your room and the guest room and you're sharing that bathroom.

Do: Make sure your guests are warm and snuggly. Help them by sitting as close to them as possible. Maybe even on top of them if they seem okay with the idea.
Don't: Mistake their feet under the covers for monsters. Houseguests get very annoyed at having their feet snapped at.

Do: Take your guests eating habits, restrictions, likes and dislikes into account when it comes to food. Maybe ask them for some things they normally eat so you can have them in the house.
Don't: Have absolutely no food in the house. Especially if one of your guests is on a specialized diet for a religious holiday. The same specialized diet she has been on for the past 10 years every Easter. And happens to be eating more often than usual because of a certain baby she's growing. And don't make excuses that you can't shop in advance because you "only go food shopping the day of and the stores are closed."


On that last note - food preferences are very important when it comes to house guests, and not even guests who are spending the night. Thatgirl makes a big point of talking to all her dinner guests before they come over to make sure she doesn't make anything they don't like. This can be as basic as "I don't like broccoli" all the way to "I think veal is cruel and inhumane." I know Thatgirl is going to a full post about veal a little later, so I don't want to spoil anything. Instead, for those of you who are good with eating veal, here's delicious way to enjoy it.

Veal in Onion Sauce
1 Tbsp butter
1 Tbsp flour
1/2 cup heated milk
1 onion, chopped
nutmeg
3 Tbsp heavy cream
2 scallops of veal
canola oil

1. Preheat oven to 350. Bring a pot of water to a boil.
2. In a saucepan, melt butter in a sauce and stir in the flour.
   
3. When it's paste-like add the hot milk and stir. Bring to a boil, salt and pepper to taste and
4. Throw the chopped onion in the boiling water. Cook for one minute and then drain the onions.
5. Add the onions to the saucepan and cook until tender.
6. Place sauce in baking dish with a sprinkle of nutmeg, cover and bake for 10 minutes, until the onions are mushy. Let cool while you cook the veal.
   
7. Reduce heat to 325. Rub the veal with oil and place on a shallow rack in the oven. Bake 30 minutes per pound.
8. Place the sauce through a food processor till it is nice and creamy. Stir in the heavy cream and heat through. Serve over the veal.
   

Oahu part 1: The No Good, Very Bad Idea

Have you ever had a bad idea? I mean a REALLY bad idea? Well I am chock full of them. Someone should really pay me to come up with bad ideas, because right now I come up with them for free.

It started out simply enough, Thatmom wanted another family trip to Hawaii, since Kauai last year was such a success. She suggested going to our timeshare in Ko Olina on Oahu, since I'd never been there. Everyone seemed in, and so Toxicesq and China threw their oar into our boat and booked a week at the same time. Since it seemed like everyone was going anyway, I made the suggestion to Thatboy that he should invite his parents, since they owned a timeshare in the same resort. This was the beginning of the end. At first they declined, but then all of sudden they had a change of heart.

Spending a week with my inlaws is difficult enough as it is, but to spend a week with them in Hawaii? AWFUL. First of all, as I've already noted, TFIL hates ANYTHING that sounds like a good time. Second of all, they don't like being outside. Which meant their idea of how they wanted to spend their time involved never leaving their hotel room. Which would have been okay, except for the fact that Thatboy actually wanted to spend some time with his parents. So let me give you a rundown of a fairly typical day:

1) This part actually starts the night before when we inform the inlaws what our plans are for the day. At which point TFIL tells us he hates our idea. Doesn't want to go. Sounds awful. TMIL expresses interest and we invite her to join us solo. She insists she won't go anywhere without TFIL. Thatboy and I plan to do the activity alone.

2) The morning we plan to leave for said activity we get a call from the inlaws saying that they will be joining us. Yippers. We head off to our destination. Day one was the Dole Plantation.

TFIL wasn't thrilled with the fact it was outside, so we promised to cut our trip short and just do a quick tour. No "World's Largest Maze" for us.



But, because I'm a crazy nut, I still LOVED seeing all the pineapple growing, right out in the open! This is a baby pineapple.



Wook at da wittle baby grow!



Eventually they start looking like the pineapples we all know and love.



And that's about when the plant can't handle the weight and they start lying on the ground. Kind of like human teenagers.



But the Dole Plantation has SO much more than just pineapples! There's also a koi pond filled with BSC koi. (They look like they're going to climb out and walk around, don't they?)




And there's a train (which we didn't ride, but I was okay with that.)



But TMIL who is a garden enthusiast wanted to check out the garden, and since we're nice like that we willingly obliged.



And we were treated to more hibiscus than I'd ever seen, in really weird colors!

3) The complaining begins. Mostly because TFIL is never happy. Not only did he not like being at Dole, but we spent too long there. And yet, every time we passed by the plantation he would ask us "What's that building over there?" Guess he was paying really good attention.

4) Repeat Ad Nauseum.

Our next stop after the Dole Plantation was Turtle Beach. Another one of my pics. Because I really wanted to see turtles! But Turtle Beach gives you not just a view of turtles, but also the beach where LOST was filmed. We didn't do a LOST tour, but we did take advantage of this vantage point!

And Turtle Beach did not disappoint!!!!





Thatboy and I had our snorkel gear in the car (don't leave home without it!) in the hopes we'd get to snorkel with the turtles, but it didn't take long to see that the inlaws were going to squash that plan too. Because neither of them wanted to hang out on the beach while we jumped in the water. (Don't worry, we headed back later that week with China and the three of us snorkeled and Thatboy got an up close and personal encounter with the turtles)

Turtles and pineapples made us hungry, so we stopped at one of the many shrimp stands in Kahuku.

I'm not sure if Romys gets their shrimp from this giant pond beside the stand, but there were signs that you could go prawn fishing here. We didn't. Whether the shrimp came from here or not, you could tell they were fresh.



And this is one of the many things TFIL HATED about lunch. I thought it was a brilliant idea to stop someplace with an awning to protect him from the sun. But it was still outside. And he didn't like having to eat outside. He informed me that he "doesn't eat in places like this."



He also didn't appreciate the fact that our meals came in styrofoam boxes. However Thatboy and I LOVED our pile of sweet and spicy shrimp. I saw someone else's plate and knew we could split an order. And one order was definitely plenty.



I love peel and eat shrimp. TFIL? Not so much.

The one thing the inlaws both enjoyed was our journey to Laie Point, which offers gorgeous views of nearby islands (islets? Little itty bitty guys)

This is the real showstopper - the island with a hole punched in it from a tsunami.

It really only took one day of spending time with the inlaws for Thatboy to realize he should never vacation with them and me at the same time. Unfortunately, we still had several days to go!

Pump up the Jams

I mentioned that last weekend San Diego was a-buzzin' with activity. On Sunday we headed to the Adam's Avenue Roots Festival - a two day music festival featuring a variety of musical styles. One of the performers I really wanted to see played on Saturday, but we still got to see some really great artists. And Thatboy fell in love.

Adams Avenue spans three areas - Kensington, Normal Heights, and University Heights. While your average tourist doesn't usually get over to this area, it could truly be called the "heart" of San Diego city. If you live in a city like New York, Chicago, or San Francisco, you can go for years without having to drive. Everything you need is right in "the neighborhood." Most of San Diego isn't like that, except for this area, which is home to stores, markets, fabulous local bars and some of the best restaurants in the county. And it also houses some pretty great street festivals.

The Roots Festival is no exception. Adams Avenue itself is closed off for several streets with several stages to showcase the performers.

There are food and crafts all along the street, and in addition to the stages, there were "street buskers" who played on the corners.

I used the opportunity as an excuse to play with the video camera part of my camera. I've had this camera for about 18 months and I've NEVER played with video function. I warn you - it's pretty shaky and might give you motion sickness. So when you click on the video, maybe do something else and just listen. After all, it's the music that matters.

First up we got to see Sarah Watkins.

Halfway through her set, Thatboy turned to me and said "I have a crush on Sarah Watkins." He spent the rest of the performance giving her meaningful glances and trying to get her to look his way. I have a bitty crush on her too - that girl plays a mean fiddle.

Next we heard Orquesta Primo, but the inlaws didn't want to venture to watch them perform. It's amazing how small minded people can be. TFIL put up with the fiddling, but there was no way he was going to stand and watch salsa/folklorico. But the music sounded very high energy and fun.

Also vetoed were The Devastators and Robin Henkel who were also deemed "not music" by the inlaws.

We settled on Joanie Mendenhall who played her music at what was determined to be an acceptable volume.

She describes her style as "acoustic pop/alternative" but to me, she sounded like a throwback to older times. We just watched An Education a couple weeks ago (jeepers I love Nick Hornby) and it reminded me of the music of that era. Especially with the French influence the music in the movie had.

After Joanie, we stuck around for Gregory Page.

He was a huge hit with the inlaws, beginning his set with "I'm going to sit right down and write myself a letter" which had TFIL (who was complaining that his legs were cramping from all the walking we'd been doing) grabbing TMIL and bringing her out to dance.

Sometimes I'm like a spoiled kid at Christmas - especially with music. I didn't want to leave and I wished we could have been there on Saturday too. It's just never enough with me. Luckily I don't have to wait till next year, because there'll be another street festival in September!

With all the inlaw meals I've been blogging, I forgot to add one fairly unimportant entry - the salad. TFIL likes a salad with every dinner he has, whether eating in or eating out. What has always struck me as interesting, is that he serves the salad course first. Not incredibly unusual, except for the fact that TFIL believes the Europeans are the only people who know how to cook. period. end of story. He refuses to eat barbecue, or Mexican food, or various Asian cuisines other than a certain Chinese restaurant by his house. Well, you'll never guess what culture eats their salads AFTER the meal.....that's right! Europeans. Just a little trivia for y'all because I love you so very much. So here is one of the many nightly salads we consumed with some of my favorite ingredients - fruit and nuts!

Apple Walnut Salad
1/2 cup canola oil
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup greek yogurt
3 Tbsp vinegar (I have an assortment I alternate through depending on my mood)
2 tsp sugar
4 cups of your favorite greens
2 red apples, cored and chopped
1/2 cup dried cranberries
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped and toasted

1) Whisk together the syrup, yogurt, vinegar, and sugar.
2) Whisk in oil gradually until you have a nice thick dressing. Refrigerate until ready to serve.
3) Toss greens, apples, cranberries, and walnuts in a bowl. Toss with dressing.

For Art's Sake

Let me just begin by noting that when the inlaws told us they wanted to come visit, they specifically asked if they could come down "when there was something happening in San Diego." I shouldn't be too surprised, because the only times they've come to visit us is when we had a major event like a wedding or graduation. And even then, they tried to have us schedule events around trips they wanted to make to the symphony, or other local attractions.

"Have them come the last week of April" I told Thatboy. San Diego is just buzzing with activity that weekend! And now I regret that statement. More than anything. Because I didn't realize that when they said they wanted to go to San Diego activities, they meant - they wanted to go for 15 minutes or less. So they could get back to the hotel and sit and read and nap. Boo. Hiss. So I got to miss one of the most fabulous weekends in San Diego. Blah.

The plan for Saturday was to go to the Little Italy Art Walk. An event that happens once a year. But TMIL also wanted to squeeze in a trip to the Museum of Contemporary Art. Which is open year round. And which they could have gone to on one of their days without Thatboy and I. Because contemporary art on the street isn't NEARLY as good as something in a museum. Because, you know, if it's in a museum it's brilliant. Just like Sunset Magazine.

Once a year, Little Italy is transformed.

4 streets are closed off, along with all the streets that connect them, of course. And rows of artists of all media. It's amazing.

After the first block, TFIL turned to us and asked when we could move on to the next activity. He was done with this. He doesn't like contemporary art. When Thatboy asked him what kind of art he likes, he was unable to answer. He said he likes "art that's done well." Thatboy asked what medium he enjoyed. TFIL replied "any medium that's done well." Thatboy asked if he liked a certain age or genre of art. TFIL doesn't. We decided (between Thatboy and I) that TFIL doesn't like anything that gives people pleasure. He doesn't like television, movies, fiction books, music that has lyrics, and apparently art. Fun times.




In addition to really great art, there was also musicians. Thatboy got sucked in to watching these guys for a while.

And because I'm a shopper at heart, I had to get something. Well, I didn't have to. But I walked right by these little birdie pictures and WANT. So I picked up a print to take home.



How adorable are those chubby little chicks? The artist is Marna Schindler and she specializes in animal prints. I don't usually love animal prints, but I seriously love these birds which she calls "Little Buddies." I want to get them for everyone I know.

After we saw about half the festival, TFIL could take it no longer. He really wanted to move on to the next activity. Thatboy pointed out the next activity would be looking at more art. TFIL said "yes, but it's a different style." To which I pointed out that it was actually the same style as what we were viewing that he hated. But off to La Jolla we went! To sit in traffic because UGH La Jolla on the weekends.

The Museum of Contemporary Art is tiny. TMIL was concerned she wouldn't be able to see it all before it closed. I assured her she'd be able to see it multiple times in the time we had. TFIL was disgusted by almost every exhibit and at one point went and sat in the lobby.

This is the exhibit that greets you as you enter. It's animatronic, so the sculpture actually moves, as though it were doing the tagging. Which fooled me at first!

My favorite part of the museum is the sculpture garden. Thatboy and I usually do a quick tour of the current exhibition before heading out here for a while.



Because it's our favorite view in La Jolla.



I mean, sure, you can walk along the cove. And I've done that on many occasions. But from the MCASD garden you get the water framed with palm trees and flowers.

And even some fun sculptures.

Plus Thatboy likes to climb on everything, which is encouraged, even though it's still technically a museum.



And even when you're not looking at the water, it's still a pretty cool view.



With bright colors that just make you smile. After the museum, we dropped the inlaws off for their required nap/reading time. I put up dinner and spent some quality bitching time where I both gave and received. Apparently it does not help the situation when I start acting like a childish brat. Who'd have guessed? And then the inlaws came over for dinner.



Pot Roast
TMIL makes a great pot roast according to Thatboy. But according to Thatboy, I make it better. Even when using her recipe. This is not her recipe. I didn't want to show her up. But this makes an impossibly tender, fall of your fork meat. And I love the flavor V8 gives it. I know a lot of people use tomato sauce, or tomato paste, or even ketchup, but V8 is the way to go.

2 Tbsp flour
1 1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
4 lb boneless chuck roast
3 Tbsp shortening
1 onion, sliced
2 tsp thyme
1 cup V8
1/2 tsp Tabasco Sauce

1. In a small bowl, combine flour, salt, and pepper. Rub all over the roast.
2. Melt the shortening in a dutch oven. When hot, add the roast and brown on all sides.
3. Lower the heat and add remaining ingredients. Cover and simmer 3 hours, turning half way through.


Brussels Sprouts
I LOVE brussels sprouts. So does TMIL. Thatboy? Not so much. But I used their visit as an excuse to make a veggie I don't get to make so often. This is a super basic way to make them. Just drop them in boiling water and boil for about 9 minutes. Then toss with melted butter, salt, and pepper. This way they retain some of their crunch - which I love.


Potato Pancakes
Since the hash brown went over so well, I thought I'd try Fannie Farmer's recipe for potato pancakes. They were a hit. TMIL got so excited when I brought these to the table!

3 medium potatoes
1 Tbsp flour
1 Tbsp heavy cream
1 egg, beaten
salt
4 Tbsp oil

1. Peel and grate potatoes. Place them on a double thickness of paper towels, fold the towels around them, and twist and squeeze until most of the moisture is extracted.
2. Put the potatoes in a bowl, add the flour, cream, egg, and salt, and toss until well mixed.
3. Heat the oil in a large skillet. Put about 2 Tbsp of the potato mixture in the pan and press and shape with a spatula into a flat pancake. Repeat until the pan is full, but not crowded.
4. Cook each pancake 5 minutes over medium low heat until the bottom is crisp and brown. Turn and cook the other side 5 minutes more.