But long before we had children, and long before we were married, we agreed that we would always spend Christmas with his family, because for him, Christmas wasn't about the religious elements, or even the tree and lights, Christmas was about family, and he wanted to spend it with his.
This has never been easy, but it's been increasingly harder after we had children of our own. There's such an age difference between Thatboy and his brother that they are over the whole "magic of Christmas" with their own kids and don't have a desire to re-institute it with ours. So there's no waking up and digging into presents, there's no Christmas music, no lights, no Christmas activities, no Christmas meals. It doesn't feel much different than any other time of the year.
Most of the holiday travel issues are unique to us alone, but over the years I've definitely found some things that can be useful to all parents who aren't home at this time of year.
Getting Around
While not doable for every family, we always drive for this holiday trip. It gives us a little more flexibility by giving us our own form of transportation when we're there. It also lets us deal with the presents - both the ones we give and the ones we get. This is especially important because many times Chanukah falls during the period we're there, so we've got both Christmas and Chanukah presents to transport.
But we don't live close enough for this to be easy. This year we hit a record both coming and going - only 8 hours to get there! Our fastest time ever! And on the way home? 14.5 hours! Our longest time ever!
So my travel tip for anyone who similarly finds themselves on a long car ride over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house is to find some stopping points along the way for everyone to get out and stretch their legs. One of my friends maps out cool playgrounds between her two destinations for her children to burn some energy. We usually do a stop for breakfast and another for lunch to break it up a bit.
Thatboy and I have been making this trip for 19 years, so we're pretty well acquainted with some fun places to stop. Last year we took the kids on a walking tour of the Danish village, Solvang. This year we stopped at a brewery with a large outdoor space for the kids to run around, play cornhole and build things with a giant jenga set.
Where to Stay
I'm not going to lie. There's definitely a romantic picture of Christmas, waking up and heading to the living room/family room/tree room in your pajamas, mug of something warm in your hand, watching your kids dive into presents under a tree. And if you can have this staying with your family, then DO IT! The idea of the whole family under one roof seems really magical. It's just not the reality we deal with, and if it's not feasible for you, I'm here to let you know that it can be just as wonderful to stay in a hotel. For us, it's even better.
Hotels are gloriously decorated for the holidays.
Santa still comes to hotels. So you can still have that moment in your pajamas watching kids open presents. And since my inlaws don't do the present opening until almost lunchtime, staying in a hotel and having those presents is the only thing that keeps my children from going stir crazy as we wait for the rest of the family to wake up, eat their breakfast, and finally deem its okay for my kids to open gifts.
Also, staying a hotel allows us to cater to my inlaws a bit. If you have young children, there's a good chance they are early risers. (Especially on Christmas morning!). My kids get up hours before we're allowed over at the inlaws. Staying at a hotel means them being up early doesn't mean my inlaws have to get up early! And this also means we can try to sneak in some activity for the boys before heading over. Santa even drops off Christmas cereal for the boys on Christmas morning because there's no food before 10 or 11 am otherwise.
Keeping Kids Busy
Holiday travel is especially hard for us with two rambunctious boys because Thatboy's family isn't interested in going out or doing anything. And we obviously want to spend time with them while we're up there, since that's the whole point of the trip, so we don't want to go off and do activities on our own.
And not that we rely solely on screen time, but they don't use it at all. Which means the kids are either stuck in a single room in TMIL's house with nothing to do, or a single room in TBIL's house with nothing to do between those long hours stuck in a car.
And let me tell you how much fun it is to take two kids to sit for a church service after they've been cooped up for days.
Hopefully your holidays aren't quite as cooped up, but in discussions with friends who also travel during the holidays, one thing that is universal is that kids are not on their best behavior during these trips. There's so much excitement in the air, schedules are all over the place, and hot chocolate and Christmas treats can make even the most mellow kid a little ball of energy during this time period.
Our solution? Early morning playground sessions!
Last year we found a playground between our hotel and the inlaws homes. So now, when the kids are up earlier than the inlaws, we just bring them to the playground and let them run around and play until we get the all clear that everyone is up. This way we don't miss out on any family time, and they get a little less stir crazy because they've run, jumped, and climbed their little hearts out.
It's also a good idea to keep some ideas and activities in your pocket for unexpected free time. Both last year and this year Thatboy's family decided to make plans without us while we were up there. Last year we had enough notice to plan a museum day.
But this year we were completely surprised to pull up to the house and find TMIL gone. Luckily we remembered a fun place that wasn't too far away we could take the kids for our last day there.
Keeping Kids Fed
If you're a parent, you know kids are waaaaaay harder to control when they're hungry or tired. And since schedules are usually off during holiday travel, it's especially important to find solutions that avoid both of those situations. For us, this means not waiting until we get to the inlaws to eat. (this is especially true in our situation where there isn't any food to eat once we get there).
Along with stopping at a playground on the way over to the inlaws, we also stop and grab breakfast. That way we can guarantee the kids arrive in the best mood possible - full tummies and tired legs.
We also usually bring something with us for lunch, again to guarantee that there's something the kids will eat. Because a fed kid, is a happy kid!
Even with all these tips and tricks, our holiday travels are hard, but like I said, that's unique to our situation. So for the rest of you traveling with kids, instituting these little tricks might be the difference between a stressful holiday and one that's a little more peaceful!
