High Flying Comedy

I am the first to admit that I am old beyond my years. I knit (sometimes). I think the perfect weekend involves staying at home and getting all my affairs in order (and affairs means errands and cleaning, not the many men who vie for my attention, because lord knows I can barely keep the one in order), and I have a very strict bedtime of 10pm.

I am useless after 10, and even moreso the next day if I fail to get my 8 hours of sleep. And yet, the past two nights have found me up until 11pm. 11PM! Do you hear that? I am barely able to function because I went to bed at 11pm....two nights in a row. If you haven't fallen over, carried by the shear force of your eyeroll, then I applaud you.

It started Monday night. I had been told that this was a Castle episode not to be missed.

(Don't you just want to pinch his wittle cheeks? I know I do. And I don't necessarily mean the ones beside his nose.)

Now, for those of you doing the math....Castle airs at 10pm. Which is past the aforementioned bedtime. So Thatboy and I usually tape it and catch up on Tuesday night while I'm making dinner. Except, we had a problem. I wasn't going to be making dinner on Tuesday night because we wouldn't be home. And we have so many shows on DVR that who knows when we'd get to it. So we decided to stay up and watch.

And then dragged ourselves to work the next morning. I even offered to drive Thatboy in so he could catch a couple more minutes of sleep. And then last night I picked him up from work and scooted us over to The Old Globe so we could see Boeing Boeing.

I've wanted to see Boeing Boeing since 2008 when I caught a glimpse watching the Tony awards. And of course, the fact that it was nominated in almost every category and won two didn't hurt its appeal. I love love love old farces. There's just something about the old storylines that still feel fresher and more novel than many modern comedies.

Just in case you haven't heard of Boeing Boeing, I'll break it down a bit for you.

Let me introduce you to Bernard.

Okay, so maybe this isn't really Bernard. Maybe it's Tony Curtis. But maybe Tony Curtis played Bernard in the film version of Boeing Boeing. And maybe picturing Tony Curtis will help to impress upon you that Bernard is suave and smooth and quite the playboy. And maybe some of you are scratching your heads trying to figure out WHO THE HECK TONY CURTIS is. Shame on you! Shame. Shame. Shame.

Bernard lives in Paris. And Bernard is engaged to three women. Yes. You read that right. It's like the French version of Big Love. Except not. Because you see, none of these women know about any of the others. "How is this even possible?" you may ask. Well, according to Bernard - it's easy, because each of the women is an "air hostess." (That's 1960s speak for flight attendant)

First there's Gloria. The American. Who believes that the best way to spend an evening is by practicing the technique of kissing.

Then there's Gabriella. The Italian. Who can't wait to be married to Bernard because he's such a homebody, he'll be the perfect husband.

And finally, there's Gretchen. The German. Firey and passionate and patriotic.

Bernard has the whole thing worked out to a system. None of the women are ever in town at the same time because they have different TIMETABLES! (Which is 1960s speak for a directory of flights which never ever ever change)

The play takes place on a day when Bernard's long lost best friend from school, Robert, shows up at his apartment.

Jerry Lewis played Robert in the film version with our boy Tony. And look what he looked like back then. Not the goofy sidekick we think of. And yet....you'll NEVER guess what Robert's whole role in this is. So I want you to imagine bumbling, prat-falling, spit-taking Jerry Lewis every time I mention Robert. Or any time I mention bumbling, prat-falling, or spit-taking.

So, wouldn't you guess it. On the very day Robert shows up, chaos erupts in Bernard's normally organized life. First Gloria's plane gets grounded due to the weather. Then Gabriella gets moved to a faster plane, meaning she can stay the night instead of just a couple hours. And Gretchen? Well her plane gets in early and she has 3 DAYS to spend with Bernard. Do you see where all this is heading?

(Macaulay Culkin was neither in the film nor stage production of Boeing Boeing - but his sentiments accurately describe the situation)

And hilarity ensues as Bernard and Robert attempt to juggle the women around the apartment so that they don't realize what's going on. Thatboy and I couldn't stop laughing. The physical comedy was SO over the top it went from being ridiculous to funny. Even the overacting in a couple of the scenes which would normally have me giving it a critical eye just became more of the fun absurdness of the situation. The writing was fun, quick, and sharp. There were parts where I was literally bent over double laughing. Thatboy enjoyed it more than he thought he would and we discussed that we really don't go to see comedic plays as often as we should. Or maybe they just don't make them the way they used to.

Since I didn't make dinner last night, I'm going to plea extreme fatigue and bring something for you from the archives. BUT there is a connection between Boeing Boeing and this dish. You see, Gloria, the American, has some very unusual eating habits. Given that the original play was written by the French, I'm inclined to believe they were poking fun of the American diet. (Mon Dieu! Peut-il être?) In one of the scenes, Gloria fixes herself up a late night dinner of frankfurters and whipped cream. Now I don't know about you, but this American doesn't think that sounds like a fabulous meal. I much prefer to pair my frankfurters with something like....BACON!

Bacon Wrapped Sausages

4 sausage links, cut into slices (This time around I used little smokies since I had been sticking them in our lunches and had some leftover)

4 slices of bacon

brown sugar

1) Preheat oven to 400. Place bacon and sausages on a skewer - weaving bacon in between sausage pieces.

2) Place bacon/sausage skewers on a lightly greased baking sheet and sprinkle with brown sugar. Bake 30 minutes or until bacon is crisp.

Everyone is beautiful at the ballet

Earlier this week Prez emailed me asking if there was anyway I might be interested in going to see Swan Lake with her. Prez isn't a huge theater person, but she comes from a family of musicians, so ballets are right up her alley because she's so familiar with the music. Swan Lake was one of her favorites, but she'd never actually seen a production. Neither had I. So I agreed right away. "I'm assuming Thatboy isn't going to want to come with us?" she emailed me.

"You'd assume wrong. I'm pretty sure he'd LOVE to join us, but do we want to make this a girl's night, or have him come along?" Prez said to bring him since it had been ages since she'd seen him. I think there's a pretty good chance that Prez has actually known Thatboy longer than I have. You see, back before he ever laid eyes on me, Prez and I had a mutual friend who had a thing for Thatboy. I even asked her if she was okay with me pursuing the man who would be Thatboy. She gave me her blessing, wishing me good luck because Thatboy was completely oblivious to females interested in him. She stopped speaking to me when Thatboy and I began dating.

And so the three of us bundled up in the cold rainy weather and headed out to see Swan Lake last night. The production, performed by the Moscow Festival Ballet, was phenomenal. Beautiful jumps, twirls, and lifts. Sculptured legs, glutes, and arms that seem to go on forever. And of course, an insane amount of tulle and glitter. Prez didn't know the story at all, and I had a very vague recollections. So as an aid to all my non-ballet goer readers (both of you), I have decided to include a very brief plot break down so you can all talk about Swan Lake at the next gala you attend and wow them all.

We open on a party. At least I think it's a party because there's lots of people dancing around. But since it's a ballet, there's no talking. So it could just as well be a protest, or an audition for So You Think You Can Dance. See the lady with the drapes on her arms? Maybe she's Mary Martin?

See this guy? He's the Prince. You can tell because he jumps higher than any of the other dancers. That's how you know he's supposed to be good, kind, and gentle. Our hero.

The prince leaves his party and goes off all mopey in the forest. Seriously mopey. You've heard the music, right? He runs into a bunch of girls with feathers in their hair and white tutus. I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be the swans you've heard so much about. They dance together and the Prince falls in love with the skinniest, bendiest one with the longest arms and the crown.

Can you blame him for falling in love? Look how she bends!

And look how her friends dance!

But all is not happy in Swan Lakeland. In addition to the fact that the girl is actually a swan, she's also under the spell of an EVIL sorcerer. You know how I know he's evil? He's wearing all black. And a cape. And a shitton of glitter. Seriously, he is the most FAB-ulous villain ever.

Act 2 begins with a scene from the bachelor. Four princesses compete for the Prince's bouquet of flowers. But none of them are as skinny and bendy as the Swan girl. So no one gets the flowers. It's the saddest rose ceremony ever.

But then the evil sorcerer shows up with a girl who looks JUST LIKE the swan girl! Except she's dressed all in black. And the prince didn't read my earlier point about black costumes = evil character.

So the Prince dances with her and gives HER the bouquet of flowers. At which time sorcerer starts laughing like a mad man and running around the stage chest bumping the other characters. Evil black costume princess starts taunting the Prince and poking him in the forehead as she laughs at him. And the Prince? He starts crying. Me? I lose ALL respect for the crying bachelor.

The prince realizes this was a trick and runs off to get his real swan girl. And together they defeat the evil sorcerer. And even though the Prince couldn't tell the difference between her and the evil black costume princess, the swan girl takes him back. I surely hope she doesn't have any sisters, because if she does, she's in for a lifetime of heartache with this guy.

During intermission we talked about how fabulous the ballerina was that dance the part of the Swan Queen, Odetta. I mentioned that her arms were incredibly long. Prez mentioned how unbelievably unhealthy skinny she was. During the second half, Prez couldn't notice anything except for the woman's arms which might have brushed the ceiling. I kept thinking she was going to break something every time she landed since I couldn't stop looking at ALL her bones which were barely covered by her skin. It made me a little sad to realize that not much has changed in the world of ballet which has always had a reputation for enforcing unhealthy views of the female body. I wanted to feed this woman SO badly. I wanted to make her a big bowl of pasta and watched as she ate the entire thing. But I can't because I think it would be really weird to bring a bowl of pasta to the ballet. So instead, I offer you a fabulous pasta recipe that is our current favorite. As usual, it's loaded with a ton of veggies which help to fill you up so you don't need as much pasta. And spicy pasta always makes me happy.

Feed Your Inner Ballerina Pasta

3 links Italian sausage, cooked and sliced.

4 oz uncooked linguine

2 Tbsp oil (we use avocado, but olive works if you don't have avocado oil)

2 cippollini onions, cleaned and sliced in half

1 bunch of broccolini

1 clove garlic, diced

1 can diced tomatoes

2 cups chicken stock

1) Prepare linguine. While linguine is cooking, heat oil over medium high heat. Saute onions for 2 minutes, or until tender.
2) Add broccolini and saute 2 minutes more.
3) Add in garlic, tomatoes, sausage, pasta, and chicken stock. Saute 5 minutes or until half the chicken stock is gone.

BONUS!

Today was a day of bonuses...

It started with a bonus trip to the doctor! Because once in a week isn't enough for Thatboy OR I.

Then came the week I've been waiting for since the beginning of the year - Clinique Bonus Time! I ran out of my facial cleanser and have been holding off on buying my fave - the rinse off foaming cleanser until bonus time rolled around.

I love how gentle this stuff is on my face. I love how foamy it gets, because we all know that foam = it's working. And I love how it doesn't smell. I just want something clean, not floral, not fruity. Not on my face.

And of course I had to pick up some moisturizer while I was there.....

Cause if it ain't broke..... This isn't my winter moisturizer, it's too light. But I got it anyway in the hopes the weather will warm up a bit and I won't need to coat my face in a thick protective layer of lotion.

And the bonus is totally amazing. I have to say, in general, I like the bonuses because they give me loads of travel goodies, which is good since I do tend to travel a lot, even if it's just up and down to Thatmom's house and back. The cosmetics bags they come in, however, usually go right under the bathroom sink because they're kinda tacky. Not this one! It's so cute!!!!!


And I'm equally as jazzed about the contents - there's a redness reducing mineral powder I'm just dying to try, and the mascara that makes Thatboy say "Woah...are you wearing mascara?" and an oversize tub of some new skin refining moisturizer with SPF 20.

Because I "preordered" my bonus items, I even got a bonus bonus! It's another cosmetics bag that's not nearly as cute (going right under the sink) a mini-mini bag which will just hold some powder, lip gloss, and mascara and fit in just about any of my purses, and two samples of their Fresh Bloom Allover Colour in Almond Blossom.

How flipping gorgeous is this powder? I am SUCH a sucker for embossed/designed powders. There's something so retro and elegant about them. And the almond blossom color is a gorgeous tawny bronze. I always forget to use bronzer, but my friend Teseract considers it the quintessential makeup item.


And of course a peek at what Thatboy and I are getting for dinner....mmmmmmm...



Except, without the yummy sandwich....and not THIS baked potato. Because THIS baked potato is coated in butter, sour cream, salt, and pepper. Our baked potato doesn't get any of the good stuff, just a little butter so we don't choke on it on its way down.


But, because I love y'all so much - here's another bonus. This one's for you! Another great Valentine's Day recipe. Well, another great anytime recipe that can be used for Valentine's Day. I'm not sure why, but I love the idea of steak for romantic dinners. There's a reason carnal derives from the Latin word for "meat" or "flesh."

Italian Crusted Roast Beef
1/2 Tbsp seasoned salt
1/2 Tbsp basil
1/2 Tbsp oregano
1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
1 tsp ground pepper
3 Tbsp pinenuts, chopped
2 Tbsp parmesean cheese, grated
1 tenderloin roast (1-2 lbs)

1. Preheat oven to 425. Combine seasoned salt, basil, oregano, red pepper flakes, pepper, pinenuts, and cheese in a small bowl.
2. Rub the pinenut mixture over the roast, and place roast in roasting pan. Roast 40 minutes, or until meat almost (but not quite) reaches your desired level of doneness. Pull it out when it looks just a little too pink for you.
3. Transfer roast to your cutting board and tent with aluminum foil. Let stand for 15 minutes before carving.

Weekend Love

Things I love about the weekend:

1) My weekend runs. Since I don't have to get ready for work after, I can sleep in and actually do my run during the daylight! Which is so much nicer than running in the dark. And because it's light, I get to run through fields of diamonds. At least, it looks like diamonds as each blade of grass holds a drop of dew which reflects the sunlight in a rainbow of colors. I also love that my lack of time restraint means I can run longer than my 3 miles I do during the work week - although I'm going to try pushing that over the next couple of weeks.

2) Spending quality time with Thatboy. Sure, we spend almost every waking hour together during the week - between hitting up the gym after work, to eating dinner side by side on the couch as we watch our favorite shows, but on the weekends, we get to play. Literally. Friday night we spent playing Beatles Rockband - and let me tell you, after a margarita, it is VERY difficult to be in charge of both the vocals AND the guitar. But I think I held my own. And then on Saturday we went to see Avatar - which everyone raves about. My thoughts? Meh. First of all, I didn't realize it was live action, so after the first 20 minutes I turned to Thatboy and said "This is the longest promo ever." He thought I was kidding. I wasn't. I know everyone thinks it's groundbreaking, and maybe it is, but the entire storyline made no sense to me. And I do enjoy a good storyline. And we saw it in 3-d, which I told Thatboy seemed like a waste of 3-d technology. There was no reason to make this movie 3-d, I don't think it added to it at all. But it was his movie pick, wait till he sees what I have in store for him when it's my turn!

3) Spending time with friends. H and her husband moved into their brand new home late last year, and we've been dying to see it. But with all our traveling around, we couldn't match up schedules, so in December, H booked us for dinner this weekend. (Seriously, I book up way in advance. Just like a fancy restaurant. And I also require shoes and a jacket.) It was great to see their new home and spend time with H. As we stood in the kitchen trading stories back and forth, I thought about how lucky I am to have H in my life. When I first met her, I never would have guessed how important a role she would come to play in my life. On Saturday night we celebrated another year of health for H. I can still picture exactly where I was when H called 2 years ago to tell me she'd been diagnosed with cancer. Ironically, the place where I had to pull off the road because I was hysterically crying is a mere exit away from where we now live. And yet, here we are, 2 years (and 2 half marathons on H's part) later. Is it selfish to consider myself lucky that H is healthy?

4) Sofabed Saturday nights. Thatboy and I started a new tradition in December. See, we're still spending a majority of weekends with Thatmom, so our weekends at home have become almost like a vacation. When we're home on Saturday nights we pull out the sofa bed and watch tv before going to sleep. Then Sunday mornings we have breakfast in sofabed. This Sofabed Saturday night, rolled right into Sofabed Sunday since Thatboy is feeling a lot under the weather. So I hit up the gym without him, showered, and crawled back into bed beside him where we spent the day watching movies and our DVRd shows.

Since Thatboy wasn't feeling great he got put on the blech diet on Sunday (grilled chicken with brown rice - no oil, salt, or pepper...he wasn't thrilled). Which left me free to have something he wouldn't love at all. Fish sticks! Okay, that's a total lie. Thatboy loves fishsticks. I hate them. Mostly because they're made of fish. But tofu sticks - they look like fishsticks but taste a million times better. And even though Thatboy is more than happy to eat tofu I throw into dishes, eating them on their own isn't his favorite preparation. I love the crispiness and how they're perfect for dipping!

Not Fish Sticks

1 pkg extra firm tofu
1 egg, slightly beaten
2 cups panko
flour
canola oil

1. Slice tofu in half vertically, giving yourself two thin rectangles. Wrap these rectangles in paper towels and place under heavy plate for 30 minutes to drain of excess moisture.
2. Unwrap tofu and slice into sticks.
3. Take 3 shallow bowls, place egg in one, panko in one, and flour in one.
4. Coat tofu sticks in flour, then egg, then panko.
5. Heat canola oil over medium heat. Cook tofu on all sides until golden brown. Place on paper towels to drain.
   

Dark and Stormy

Things are crazy here in San Diego right now. Winds, rains, flooding. The water is coming down so hard, it's like living under a waterfall! Except it only seems to happen in brief buckets - as I learned when I left the house for my morning run with Thatdog. The first 1.5 miles were like running through fog - wet, but not raining. Then the skies opened up and the two of got a morning shower neither of us was thrilled with. And then, just about a block away from home, the skies cleared again. Weird. Thatboy tried to tell me last night that he drove through a river on his way home. "The splash was 15 feet high!" I'm thinking of sticking a life preserver in his trunk.

When the weather gets like this, it sometimes makes me feel like I'm not in Southern California anymore. The torrential downpour so heavy you can't see the car in front of you on the road reminds me of the hurricanes we had in Florida. Huddling the house with the windows taped up, crowded around the radio with only candles to light the room. The dark and cloudy skies bring me back to Pennsylvania winters and shivering after diving practice which was a winter sport there. And I had a winter sport nickname. We all had nicknames on the diving team, and mine was Snow White. During the summer when I was out in the sun all day, my hair would lighten to a reddish brown, but in those dark days of winter it was a rich dark brown - almost black when it was wet from diving. Pair that with my super fair skin and blue eyes, and it's not hard to figure out where the nickname came from.

Since moving to California I don't have the same drastic hair change. My hair is fairly constant year round because the sun is fairly constant year round. Which means every winter I get "winter roots" - where the dark brown growing in doesn't match the sunbleached ends. So every winter, when the skies are dark and cloudy, I rectify the situation in my very own hairsalon/bathroom, dying my ends the rich brown of my roots. Except something went wrong this weekend - somehow the dark brown didn't come out so dark brown. It would appear I have dyed my roots the red brown of my ends! Not noticeable to anyone else, but it feels very strange for me to have "summer hair" in January. Especially when it is very wintery and dark outside.

I can say I had better success with dinner than my hair. This came out exactly as I was expecting. I knew I wanted to make stuffed peppers with rice, but forgot to check and make sure we had rice. We didn't. We did however have a couple boxes of Uncle Ben's long grain and wild rice - which is Thatboy's hands down favorite side ever. So I figured I'd just use that. It worked! Although, to be honest, I think Thatboy prefers his long grain and wild rice unadulterated by peppers and marinara. When he starts making the rice instead of requesting it, I'll probably take his preferences more seriously.

Wild Rice Stuffed Peppers

1 bell pepper, cut in half lengthwise

1/2 cup Uncle Ben's wild rice

1/2 lb ground turkey

1 egg, lightly beaten

1/4 cup bread crumbs

1 cup pasta/marinara sauce

1/4 cup shredded parmesean

1) Preheat oven to 350. Remove seeds from peppers and place in a baking dish.
2) Combine wild rice and box seasonings, turkey, egg, and bread crumbs in a bowl. Stuff this mixture into the peppers.
3) Pour pasta sauce over peppers and sprinkle cheese on top. Cover and bake 45 minutes.

Un autre l'un pour le français

When I worked as a waitress (and everyone should work as a waitress) there was a sandwich we served that was insanely popular - it was a roast beef french dip. I have to admit, there was nothing special about this sandwich. It wasn't even that good. But people loved it. And when it was removed from the menu, there was rioting. Okay, maybe not rioting, but I got to hear my fill of bellyaching from the regulars who somehow believed I was personally responsible for it's removal.

I can see the allure of a french dip. There's something so comforting about a warm sandwich, dipped in a warm dip. It's like the ultimate soup and sandwich. And if you make as much soup as we do, it's also a great way to use up some leftover french onion soup. And this is a very tasty french onion soup.

Unlike where I worked, this french dip is made with ground turkey and not roast beef. Because I never have roast beef in the house. It's not my meat of choice. And this could just as easily be done with sliced turkey. I just thought making a nice turkey burger to dip in french onion soup sounded really good - don't you? Especially ground turkey cooked in that same french onion soup. MMMMMMMMM c'est magnifique!

Turkey French Dip
1/2 lb ground turkey
1/2 cup French Onion Soup (see below)
2 burger buns

1) Divide the ground turkey into two patties.
2) Cook burger in skillet over medium high heat until browned on both sides. Remove from skillet.
3) Pour soup into skillet and heat to a boil. Put burgers back in skillet and reduce heat to low. Cover and cook 5 minutes, or until the burgers are cooked through.
4) Remove burgers from soup and place on buns. Pour hot soup from skillet into ramekins for dipping.


French Onion Soup (from the Fannie Farmer Cookbook)
3 Tbsp butter
4 cups thinly sliced onions
1/2 tsp sugar
1 Tbsp flour
fresh ground pepper

1) Melt the butter in a large pot.
2) Add the onions and cook them very slowly over low heat, stirring often.
3) Stir in the sugar and flour and cook for 3 minutes.
4) Add 4 cups of water and simmer, partially covered, for 30 minutes. Add the salt and pepper to taste.

A girl cannot live on soup alone.*

I had this friend in high school who insisted that women needed to eat red meat during....a certain time of the month...because we lose so much iron. I'm not sure this has ever been scientifically proven, or even studied, but it was one of those conversations you just don't forget.

I will say that there are definitely times where the thought of something all meaty and bloody just makes my heart sing. And I'm not talking about my sociopathic tendencies. Although those I try to suppress more than my desire for steak. (because for some reason talking about the many ways you can dismember a body is socially unacceptable)

I do think my desire for a nice piece of steak stems from the amount of white meat we consume in Thathouse - chicken, turkey, and of course don't forget pork! Sometimes my body just rebels. Cholesterol? Fat? Yes please!

And while I am a purist who is happy with just some salt and pepper on a nice cut of meat, Thatboy grew up in a steak sauce household. Although, I have to say, I would much rather keep steak sauce in the house than have him use the alternative of ketchup...which he is equally happy with. (This is where I should mention that I don't take Thatboy in public often - at least not to nice steak houses, because really between the waiter and I there would be so much eyerolling people would probably think we were having seizures en masse.)

But as my faithful readers know, I will often make dishes that cater to Thatboy's tastes (as long as it's not fish or asparagus). And new readers (Hi new readers!), you will quickly learn that I will often make dishes that cater to Thatboy's tastes (as long as it's not fish or asparagus).

Steak Sauce Steak

1 lb sirloin steak

1/2 cup your favorite steak sauce

1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce

1 Tsp fresh ground pepper

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 tsp crushed red pepper

1. Combine sirloin, 1/4 cup steak sauce, worcestershire sauce, ground pepper, salt, and crushed red pepper in a ziplock baggie and shake it up to coat.
2. Refrigerate steak for 30 minutes. Remove steak from refrigerator and bag and let come to room temperature.
3. While steak is coming to room temperature, heat your grill pan over a medium high heat. Grill the steak for 7 minute, then baste with the remaining steak sauce and flip. Cook until the steak's inside is just the right color and temperature for you! (we do 7 minutes per side depending on the thickness of the steak for a nice rare/medium rare)

*Shamelessly stolen from my friend M and reworded.

Hanko Panko

I did not grow up in a house where we made our own breadcrumbs. "Breadcrumbs" came from one of two places - either the blue progresso canister, or from a bag with other ingredients meant for stuffing a Thanksgiving turkey. I'm sure somewhere in the back of my mind I knew that bread crumbs were small pieces, crumbs if you will, of bread. But the back of my mind isn't well lit and the stairs are kind of falling apart and well, it's just a scary place to visit. So let's not go there.

When I got older and started living on my own, I realized how difficult it is for a single person to use up an entire loaf of bread before it goes bad. And thus ushered in the era of homemade breadcrumbs and croutons. And stale baguettes in my freezer. But like the back of my mind, let's just stay out of the freezer.

And then I started hearing about this stuff called "panko" that was like breadcrumbs, but crispier. Crispier is always better. Ask anyone. So a couple years ago I started buying panko, and the rumor was right! It IS like breadcrumbs, but crispier. My only issue with this is the back of the mind thing. Because in my mind I get that breadcrumbs are crumbs of bread....so what does that make panko? The nagging voice I keep back there under piles of broken timber says it's probably shrimp...because that sounds about right, right? tiny dried little shrimp? (and yes, I'm sure I could google it to find out what panko is made of, but it makes me happier thinking that now every time you use it, you'll think of tiny dried shrimp dancing all over your food. Because that's what tiny dried shrimp do.)

Panko Chicken

1 egg white

1/2 Tbsp dijon mustard

1/8 tsp cayenne

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

1/2 cup panko

1/2 tsp dried thyme

1/2 lb chicken tenders

1. Preheat oven to 425. Whisk egg white, mustard, cayenne, salt, and pepper in a shallow bowl.

2. Combine panko and thyme in another shallow bowl.

3. Dip the chicken tenders in the egg white mixture, then roll in the crumb mixture.

4. Bake for 13-14 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through.

Sweet Potato Fries

2 sweet potatoes

1/2 Tbsp avocado oil (or olive oil if you don't happen to live in Thathouse - although when this bottle is gone, Thathouse is switching back to olive since they restocked at their favorite olive oil supplier)

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp pepper

1/2 tsp smoked paprika

1. Preheat oven to 425. Cut sweet potatoes into wedges and toss with olive oil, salt, pepper, and paprika.

2. Bake for 30 minutes, or until sweet potatoes are crisp.