Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Summer Makes Me Crabby Week: Crabmeat Casserole

My buddy Faye keeps bugging me to blog about the half marathon I ran a couple weeks back, and I promise I'll get to it - some time before she heads back to the desert, but life throws some unexpected curve balls, doesn't it?

I was recently reminded of just how selfish we all can be. And I had to put myself in check. 2 weeks ago I got devastating news. Except it shouldn't have been devastating for me (see what I mean by selfish?) My friend N awoke in the middle of the night and had to rush her husband K to the hospital. In a scene that surely must have echoed what we felt 2 years ago, her family stood at the hospital praying for a miracle, and trying to hold themselves together when it didn't come.

When Thatdad died we all agreed he was too young. Thatmom felt like she didn't have enough time with him. But Thatdad was twice as old as K. Twice as old. For those of you who aren't good at math, K was in his 20s. Too young doesn't even begin to describe the loss. And when I got the news, the first thing I did was contact N with a message of love and support. And then it became all about me. In a situation that was not about me. I called Thatboy and told him I wasn't okay. I ran a bath and waited for him to come home. We went to the beach and walked and I made him promise never to die. I called Thatmom for some support. I felt myself sinking into depression. And at a certain point I realized that this was ridiculous behavior and I gave myself a stern lecture. Just in time for the unveiling of Thatdad's headstone.

At the unveiling I went back into "protection mode" like I was after the funeral. Keeping an eye on Thatmom. Which was good, because I was able to focus on someone other than me.

It was a weekend full of sadness, memories of men taken far too soon and the rest of us left behind who try to put the pieces of our lives back together. It was the kind of weekend where even chewing seems like too much effort. So it's a good thing there isn't much chewing involved in this crabmeat casserole. Honestly, I was much more interested in the cornmeal mush - which is like a cross between grits and polenta. (Delicious) But then again, you can't be too surprised that a dish filled with mayo and heavy cream wouldn't be my thing.

Crabmeat Casserole (From the Fannie Farmer Cookbook)
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup mayonnaise
1 Tbsp minced parsley
1 Tbsp minced onion
3 1/2 cups crabmeat
6 hard cooked eggs, chopped
1 cup buttered bread crumbs

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 and butter a shallow baking dish. Combine the cream, mayo, parsley, onion, salt and pepper to taste, crabmeat, and chopped egg.
  2. Toss lightly, put into baking dish, and sprinkle with the breadcrumbs. Bake for 30 minutes.

Cornmeal Mush
1 cup cornmeal
1 1/2 tsp salt

  1. Mix the cornmeal with 1 cup cold water.
  2. In a saucepan, bring 3 cups water and the salt to a boil.
  3. Add the cornmeal mixture to the boiling water and cook, stirring often, over medium heat for 7 minutes, or until thick.


  1. I want to shop where you shop so that crab meat would be less expensive and I can follow in your footsteps with all these wonderful crab dishes of late. Life is full of lessons and we are human afterall. We are nobody but "me" and life and its tragedies will affect us in strange and wonderful ways. My point is I don't think it makes us a terrible person to feel for our friends and understand their pain fully.

  2. I can't even imagine being in your friend's situation. My heart goes out to her. I think it's completely normal for you to empathize with her situation, which would resurface the sadness associated with That Dad's passing.

  3. oh, man.

    my heart and thoughts and prayers go out to both families - yours and your friend's. i'm so, so sorry.